Right now I'm in exactly the frame of mind that I had hoped to cultivate in beginning this thread. Thank you all for your ongoing suuport. God is this site great or what?
Right now I would describe my mental and emotional state as "Balanced Optimism." For me, I think that's the very best place to be for DBing.
BB your question has led me to this:
1. For the first time in the history of our 18 year relationship, I actually heard my NF_R (New Friend + 1st initial of spouse's name = my way of referring to The Partners Formerly Known as WASs) I heard her say that if she can hold the positive's in the front of her mind rather than just looking at all the negatives, then she'll feel we are moving in a good direction.
God for so long I have been trying to get her to... oh never mind shut up Michael you big pushy know-it all.
So that's a really good thing. I'm already seeing HUGE turnarounds in her behavior that I could have just as easily missed if I had been self-absorbed in pity.
Way to go, Michael! WOO HOO! Personal high-5!
2. The other great thing, BB, is that your question inspired me to keep on reading and studying, and there right in the front of that other DBing bible, the 5LL, I found, and I'm paraphrasing here:
"If I could find a way to fill her emotional love tank, could the marriage be reborn?"
I believe the answer to that for me is undoubtedly a resounding YES!!!
And I also have to say that, at least in my own humble opinion, is there any man on this planet who can understand and fill her emotional tanks more overflowing with Love than I?
