Although I am one of those spouses who is wishing & waiting as you put it, I totally understand where you are coming from. Don't think I haven't thought long and hard about my own moral values and how I wonder if my H. can respect ME if he knows I am waiting this out a while, to see if he'll come back. It came down to me saying to myself that if I filed for a divorce right now, I would feel absolutely no better at all. I would only go from being married to being divorced on paper. My heart would feel the same. So, I'm not ready, but you clearly are, and if so, then you should throw in the towel and take charge. I admire you for that; you've come to a decision that is right for you, and ends this fiasco.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
