How supportive is a person really being if they are willing to wait around for someone who is now involved with someone else?
In my professional practice, I often speak to the spouses of people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. In EVERY single case, where the "healthy" spouse is wondering how to support a loved one who is struggling to find their way, I always ask them this:
"What are you willing to accept for YOU in your life? What do you believe are your own personal standards, and what are your actions actually demonstrating you will accept?"
Today, no matter what I may have ever said to my WAW about this in the past, the fact is, I most certainly am NOT willing to have someone in my life who wants to have someone else instead of me.
That's the hard and bottom line for me and right now everything else sounds like so much wishing and waiting.
Right now I'm thinking F*** her I'm moving on. And, I'm thinking God it is so hard to be objective right now. It is so hard to be neutral about it all. And I teach this stuff on a daily basis!
Thanks a lot, God, You're a real joker sometimes.
Since it feels so impossible to be neutral and objective in my own sitch, I guess my question is, how can we tell when our "unconditional love and support" is actually doing more harm than good?
Please. Help me understand this from the outside looking in.
