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It must have taken some courage for her to tell you that she was enjoying a book you had given her, just wondering how you responded to her. Would she be motivated to tell you what she enjoys again? And, did she tell you that she read it because she was bored, or is it an ASSumption?


The bored part is just me being a little sarcastic I guess cause its been sitting on her nightstand for a few weeks now. My response was that I thought it was great she was enjoying the book and how I hoped she would get as much out of reading it as I have. Also that mabye we could sit and discuss it when she was finnished if she wanted to.

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Bravo blk - you were conscious about the negativity that crept inside you, and next time, you may be able to kill it at birth. I guess we are all vulnerable to conditioning patterns - a bit like Pavlov's dogs She is really reaching out to you, blk. It's wonderful to see the progress.



It is hard to break the patterns and negative feelings, espessially the ones that have become sorta habit durring our sitches. Because of the vulnarabitlity some of us experiance its hard not to be insecure and think negatively about the outcome at times, its something I still battle all the time.

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You may be the only person who can decide if what you are doing is 'too much' and perhaps more importantly, if it is sustainable. And I'm willing to wager part of her anxiety is around just how 'real' are these changes, will superdad and superhusband disappear once she lets down her guard.



Well you couldnt be more right here. Understandably im sure shes concerned about how real the changes are, shes even mentioned it in a conversation with a freind of ours. I think more than anything shes just a bit overwhelmed by all of it as its not something she ever thought I was capable of or even attempt. Its going to take some time for her to get used to the new me and for me to get used to it as well. Guess in time i'll find that happy medium that we both feel comfortable with in how much I try to do, for now I feel real good about being there for her and the kids even if it means puting aside my own needs to do it.

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blk, maybe its time to revisit your goals, and plan the next steps so you can control the pace a little more?

Looking forward to your next update. Slowly



Pace is so important and ive thought at times things may be moving a little quickly for her and causing some uneeded pressure/anxiety. I realy have been trying to work on that and keeping myself steady, not being so insecure or needy when im feeling uncertain about things, this is very difficult to do.

Slowly, I really appritiat your perspective, it helps greatly. I think most of us are so rapped up in our sitches we at times have a hard time stepping back and seing things for what they really are. Differant perspectives can add some clarity at times and its somthing I think we all need. I meen hey sometimes I forget just a couple months ago or so my W saw a lawer and wanted to discuss child custody with me, and how dissapointed she was that id be fighing for shared custody. Durring that conversation she told me how I wouldnt be single long as I have so much to offer and someone would snatch me up right away, the hole time I was thinking theres only one person I wanted to be with. I was devistated that night and thought things were over for sure. Here we are now realy taking huge steps to make our marriage not only work but be better than ever. I truely feel blessed but also know theres lots of work left to keep the possitive changes going. Thanks again!