You have mentioned before not protecting the R/M, letting OM into your life, too close. Ok, not the best idea. But how can you claim the power in that instance?

Exactly. I gave up my power in that instance. I have said it before. I was insecure about career, then cut of EC, then was jealous, and showed it by being distant and pushing away.

You see me here, and perhaps think this is how I was then. Nope. My M did not fail when I was this way. Things were good when I was this version of me. It failed when I became insecure, needy version, for whatever those reasons are, pygmalion, or testing her, being competitive, needing to have value, whatever it was, Im not clear. Its not just one thing. It was a series of both of our choices. I agree.

part of me just acts like I don't care. Defense mechanism. I can see you almost going the opposite way. On hyper alert

Im always hyper alert, comes with my meth, and coke addiction. I did as you are?, only way overboard. How much of an EC would you have if your H acted like he didnt care, if you left or stayed, that OM was hitting on you, etc?

being too emotional can make people swing to the extremes fairly easily. raising hand, extremist here. blech. need inner value systems and pre made decisions to temper self. Said that to you before. I know my strengths/weaknesses.

Hey, are you taking a shot at sociologists Have some respect. NO. I love this stuff. <singing> R E S P E C T, now I see what it means to me.....I was unpacking and pulled that one out, and remembered self fullfilling theorys, subtle body language, and subcommunication cuing, and went Oh. Crap.

Now go and write me a 10 page paper on.... Sounds like fun. Happily....I would spin your head right off, were I in your class, and then gleefully demonstrate my over the top theories via live interactions with other students, in target rich environment. Whence you would say I see it, but I dont accept it, it must be something else. LOL. (reminds me --I need to get signed up for some classes, as soon as things settle a bit.)

Also, with the man "leading". Ok, I will buy that to a certain extent. But tell me what role that puts the woman in? The opposite, to follow? Most women will rebel from that sooner or later.
No. Have to disagree completely. Why do you fight that? It doesnt make you lesser. My x was sassy, strong minded, stubborn, intelligent. said to me one night, during our pillow talk, something along the lines of --I really like you being in charge, being in control of things. Its good to be 'your woman'...... If you ever tell anyone that I will deny it.---- I kept that secret, but contract is over now. I completely forgot about it, untill a couple months ago. It didnt make complete sense to me back then. Once again we see women leave nice guys, doormats, for 'neglect'. Its not about, following so much, as respecting and being a partner. A team. Someone still gotta be team captian. Women can and do fill that role, but the nookie desire goes out the window, for one or both of them.

At least the smart, sassy, hot ones
No, they will just test, and continue to create heat and sparks and some small amounts of conflict. Which is good. VERY GOOD.

I think some people aren't destined with one side of your brain you say I dont believe in horoscopes, and then with the other you say this.... LOL. Destiny, smeshtiny, I made bad choices because I am undereducated, and overly emotional, like everyone else. I have to know WHY for everything.

it's the keeping part that gets you all confused

Cant control the other, but women arent AS prone to wandering, like men are, if you meet their needs--- in an attractive manner. I had alot, but wanted? pushed? am a idiot at any rate, something that most likely doesnt exist. Wasnt intentional. Not gonna check to see again, I know that.

Lots more f-ing up to be had
Gosh I hope so. and down, and behind, and over and around, and outside, and wheeeeee I cant wait.... Oh wait. you meant making R mistakes.... hahah

you are a "good guy" too.

AHHHHHHHH!!!!! ACK, NO. urghhh I hate you. TAKE IT BACK. I thought you liked me, stop cursing me. <snicker> you did that intentionally, I know it, just to irk me. Ohhh Im sooooo going to ....<many and various evil thoughts percolate rapidly through BF's misogynist mind> ....asterisk you again. HA!!!

Wow BF. And at age 21 too. See, that is a great example of you seeing things black and white.

Didnt have urge for children.
Abhorred thought of accidental, or evilly plotted, children with random W outside marriage.
Knew if I could afford surgery for reversal, I could afford children and would be ready and wanting to have them, if I went thru with it.

I see the grey, just dont want to live in the murky fog. Ended up there anyway.