When you get into your next R, make sure to share some of "the power".

Ive responded to this post several times LFL. here is the one you get to see.

Logically, I know you are right. Truthfully, I tried. years ago. And just got used to having, delegating, carrying it all.
Emotionally, I react to your statement with, do you mean share my power, as in opportunity, and the most powerful frame of all.......... choice?

Not a ice sliver chance in heLL, I respond with full emotional reactivity.

But you poked squarely into my issue, trust.

Ever read Social Theory and Social Structure by Robert Merton
Probably required reading in your educational field. Advanced pygmalion stuff. oldie but a goodie, IMO.

I thought of going on a whithering diatribe of my self, did actually, but I already own mine, and am clearly seeing hers too. Pretty much always did see hers, put my rose colored glasses on towards the end. (or maybe that was because she was just so smoking hot.... I never should have put her on that workout..... ) Currently the glasses are off, I think, and I still think she is a pure woman thru and thru, and was a great wife, untill she wasnt. I knew how to lead to be attractive, didnt know how to lead a M for long term success. Different applications, different perspectives needed, removing polyester suit....may now know, may not, but often doubt ability to overcome own issues with trust and self fulfilling outcomes. (cat stevens--hard headed woman.)

Trusted her enough to have vasectomy reversed, currently being viewed as a scary scary chink in my self actualizing armor, a waste of serious money, planning and effort, but pffff, the past 20 months has been a river of green running out, not gonna cry about it, my choice.

All that effort and planning, but then put her in position that apparently is obvious to everyone except myself-at the time- as setting her up to fail.

(got V at 21 to prevent my biolgy from way-laying me. Im real big on insurance of all types. I LOVE insurance. Its my nod to acknowledging over sized inner risk taker, and effort towards well being. Puts the responsibility for my mistakes on someone else, all I have to do is pay. Can anyone point me to a marriage insurance agency? <Hello agent? I seemed to have crashed my marriage. Is it bad? Mmm yeah reallll bad, did I mention, it caught on fire too. Can you send out a adjuster? I need it fixed by next week, thanks. LOL. )


Crazy crazy...

Snook, Im done hijacking now. FWIW, I think you are a good guy too. Thats not what gets the ladies panties in a moist bunch though.

Youll get it though, I am confidant. Your well on your way. One more suggestion. Stop waiting till later. Remember when you were dating, lovers, you grabbed it whenever, wherever, you could. Im assuming.

It seems sometimes to me, as if You are the one needing to get all the chores, etc out of the way first, so you can have this ---event---. Start doing it. Sometimes it will be an event. sometimes it wont. Sometimes she will get hers, sometimes she wont. Stop relegating your needs to last place. (give her a break while her mouth is hurting of course....)

I have this feeling about your sitch, I want you to think about this, try the following.

Shes your wife, Go knock her boots. Only be put off if she says------ NO. ---Stop.-----or, I dont want to. assume everything else is playing hard to get. Enjoy yourself, while doing a good job on her, but dont get too tied up in ---Is she liking it? Is this going good? fear, pressure, uncertainty.

Women often, mostly, see and experience sex much differently then we do.