When our spouse is not behaiving, in our idea, of the way they should be, we tend to try to take up the slack. IE, LFL* tried to be aggressive and lead her H to ML. He did not respond of course because this in not his idea of a womans appropriate behaivior.

Ok, I see your point BF. But was the emphasis on HIS behavior meant just for my H or do you mean men in general? If most men want to lead, and LD men are not comfortable leading, AND do not like the woman to lead, that is quite a problem I guess the only way to make that scenario work is for the woman to back off and the man to step up. That's the only way it can work. "You can lead a horse to water"....and all that fun stuff.
But I can make the "water" as attractive as possible like you were saying:

A woman thinks 'he makes he feel something, what is that'. or 'I like being with him he makes me laugh and I feel good around him. He 'understands' me'.

That is definitely what makes me attracted to someone as a woman and I am sure it can be the same with a man. H and I were lacking big time in that department last year. Just weren't interesting to each other. I still fear this will be the kiss of death, despite major improvements.

Fear will kill the R. avoidance makes women go 'blech' passionate drives may cause clash, but also cause respect.


YES YES YES

* LFL thank you for being a handy reference and tough enough to handle it. I appreciate it. Ill pick on someone else next time.

I've been "asterisked." Get the disinfectant! Get the iodine!