LFL, your misapplying my statement to snook to you. I said nonreactive---- not nonresponsive
rejection only hurts when it strikes a insecurity. my next comment applies to both of you.
Snook you asked
Quote: I'm still having a hard time with this one.
Quote:
When the opposite gender spouse is not 'filling there role' often times the role is tried to be filled by the wrong spouse, in a effort to demonstrate what they would like to receive.
I try to bite off to big a concept in one sentence it seems. solly snook.
When our spouse is not behaiving, in our idea, of the way they should be, we tend to try to take up the slack. IE, LFL* tried to be aggressive and lead her H to ML. He did not respond of course because this in not his idea of a womans appropriate behaivior.
Chrissys H is very insecure and emotional, so she is not. there flipping roles and it screws things up.
When you stop acting like you want your W to, supplication, placating, reassuring, you can rebalance the T to allow her to be those things. She doesnt like them in you so she acts how you dont want, but she wants you too. non reactive, mysterious, unpredictable.
ok finally it has happened and it can be addressed.
thank you snook.
Quote: Both you (NOP) and Honeypot have mentioned that the tentativeness of mine hasn't worked. And Blackfoot too, but his approach is different than your (NOP's) suggestion.
.......I'll keep up with more direct adult humour and weigh the results. If null, then it's "Sledge-O-Matic" time.
These are not this or that suggestions. they go hand in hand. They are both assertive and leading. One is non logical, gets a womans emotionality 'sparked' and is important for men to learn IMO as part of being an attractive man. Most men think she looks hot I want her. If I look hot she will want me. or worse, I am a nice guy cause I work hard, dont treat her bad, and mow the lawn. she should have sex with me.
WRONG!
A woman thinks 'he makes he feel something, what is that'. or 'I like being with him he makes me laugh and I feel good around him. He 'understands' me'.
whatever that means.....
Nops suggestion are the correct necessary way for her to come to understand this is how it is, a logical acceptance and understanding, and a long- term solution for true harmony. Mine is to intersperse it with fun, and make it easier to get there. Mine causes a reaction, every man wants to be able to 'make' his wife 'want him'. Nops causes her to realize this is a choice and removes the uncertainty of reactivity.
they are synergistic, not exclusive.
Both take a certain amount of courage,(creating confidance) and a detachment from what the outcome may be. You cannot fear killing the R and let that cause you to avoid.
Fear will kill the R. avoidance makes women go 'blech' passionate drives may cause clash, but also cause respect.
Just had another analogy thought.
Car salesmen say why you want there car and how great it is. the are aggresive, and point out the good. they lead you.
beggers plead, or look for pity stand and wait.
you give one tens of thousands of dollars, the other you give change.
Who really needs, and who really gets. Which one makes you feel good, and which one makes you feel guilty.
Hmmmm. (yes I know there is no consumable exchange in one. Work with me here)
----------------------------- * LFL thank you for being a handy reference and tough enough to handle it. I appreciate it. Ill pick on someone else next time.
solly snook. 
