two words.

Assert.
Lead.

Thats enough of them there damn cookies. Im going to run you a bath and you are going to get squeaky clean and smooth and then I am going to eat YOU like a cookie.

<lick lips laciviously> ---> say that 10 x fast.


Hmmm...I don't know BF. May be too many steps ahead (just like in chess, that was you wasn't it?).
I mean, that tactic would work on me but I'm the HD and I like the man to be assertive/aggressive.
If you are dealing with a LD/ND and on top of that, dealing with mental health issues, meds, etc, it is just not as easy as that.
My H was in that place in the past and if I had attempted what you suggested he would have flat out refused. My guess is you are going to say that is because the woman cannot lead like the man but I think it is deeper than that.
The mental health issues/sexual repression issues trump the gender issues.
Anyways, Snook, you are in a tough situation. May just need to wait it out another month and see if the meds are effective at all. Stinks, but may be more realistic.