So after a fair time away from the boards, thinking and observing my R, it has become clear to me that despite my initial thoughts protecting myself financially isn't going to be enough.
When H is going through a gambling phase, it is almost as if he has another woman He is secretive, moody, disapears for hours at a time with no explanation etc etc. It's not nice. He builds a wall around himself to stop me finding out what is going on. Unfortunatly for him my children have very big eyes and ears and often tell methat he has been gambling on fruit machines or is on the computer on-line casino. It can't be good for them to witness this.
So my situation at the moment is this. He has recently had a bit of a gambling splurge. I am pretty sure he has very little money and will need to borrow some soon. I will be saying no. No discussions, begging to know what is going on, where his money is going nothing. None of the usual stuff that precedes me loaning him money. Just NO. I am prepared for a bit of a tricky ride. I must be strong. If he is big and clever enough to log on to a casino and gamble his wages away whilst hiding all of the evedence so that I can't find out then he is big and clever enough to sort out the financial mess himself. If I keep on enabling him I am not being of any help to him at all.
Not sure what to do about the feeling of being shut out I am experiencing at the moment. I don't normally 'say' anything just let it go and let the resentment build up. I am thinking about doing a 180 and telling him how I feel. It is too early for the honeymoon period to have passesd surely
He is secretive, moody, disapears for hours at a time with no explanation etc etc. It's not nice. He builds a wall around himself to stop me finding out what is going on. Unfortunatly for him my children have very big eyes and ears and often tell methat he has been gambling on fruit machines or is on the computer on-line casino. It can't be good for them to witness this. 
