It was an amazing Christmas. In many ways I couldn't have asked for more from H. he was kind, attentive, bought gifts for everyone that were clearly chosen with great care. He played games with the children, helped with the food preparation and clearing up, complimented me on how I looked and how good the food was etc. It was perfect. We had long chats about stuff..(even gambling) and I felt very close to him, more so that I can ever recall feeling. He stayed over for the last four nights which added to the closeness we are starting to build between us.


So that was the good bit

On a negative side. I notice from the computers history that he has been gambling on line. He didn't tell me which makes me feel he is hiding things from me. I feel scared, unsafe and wonder if I can trust him. In my eyes and that of his mother who I have spoken several times over Christmas he has a gambling problem. Is it wise to invest emotionally into someone with a serious addiction? Should my marriage to him on the condition that he doesn't gamble? Shouldn't I be able to love him unconditionally? Lots for me to muse over when I go for a very long walk with the boys today.

In my heart I know it isn't *my* problem. I know I can't fix it for him. All I can do is to protect myself finacially and stop enabling him by lending him money. I know that I need to join a support group for families of compulsive gamblers in order to get support for myself.

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