Thanks for the link. It was good to read more about your situation, especially as it is so similar to mine. I guess the point you are making is that H may have problems that are associated with his childhood. I have often, often thought the same.
I have done a little research into ACA ...and am willing to do more, but what do I do with the info? talk to H? He won't want to know. He talks very little about his family. I know very little of his childhood at all. When I asked what his mum was like he said she was lovely...his dad also. He will not look at the negative side. Even when he has talked to me about their drinking it is as if it is not their fault...
I should point out that his sister is a serious alcaholic.
Is he close to his family? I don't know..I can't tell what he is feeling and he doesn't tell me. He is the dutiful son, he phones his mum every so often, never forgets her birthday etc. But close...I don't know. He doesn't confide in friends or family. He keeps every one including me at a distance. I have wondered if he doesn't like himself and so he tries to show very little of his true self in case I don't like him either.. just my thoughts here trying to find ways to understand his behaviour.
He has a lot of people who he keeps in contact with. He will give his number out to anyone...I don't think he is close to them though. (It doesn't seem like he is..)
One thing I do notice probably from being ACA is that if people are not nice to him or let him down he doesn't seem to care, it doesn't effect his relationship with them. He gives people chance after chance after chance...
I suppose the key to my R with H is to understand more about ACA and ways that are effective when dealing with them....Did your H speak to you freely about his childhood or is it something that they spend so long as children trying to hide that they just can't share as adults?
