Before I give you more reason to think you need to go on the defensive...
Who me?
I'd like you to print out your previous post and make some red line corrections.
Subsitute "Pink" for "H" and an activity you like to do that he doesn't approve of. See how you feel about seeing that in print?
Does any of this need to be a deal breaker and a night ruiner?
<sigh> no it needn't be an evening ruiner but I am looking for more than just an evening thing. I am looking at going the distance and if I 'allow' him to do things that annoy me or treat me badly then that distance isn't going to be very far. I don't think I ask a lot. I don't ask him or want him to come here every night he could go out with his mates on nights he doesn't see me.
The thing is I am with my children 24/7 it is hard work, if he says he is coming at 5pm I am looking forward to it so when he cal;ls and says he will be an hour late it is a big issue to me (especially if I have cared for the children by myself for the previous 2 days) I need him to come and take the pressure off a little bit so that I can unwind and get from mummy/teacher mode to wife mode. I know he needs to unwind after work...my theory is that if he came from work we could unwind together!
Yes, but this was an unspoken expectation, Pink. How could he possibly have known how hard you worked without you discussing this with him? I fear that you are placing expectations on him without giving him fair notice that you do expect something from him. How fair is that? And how would you feel if you were constantly letting him down when he didn't even notify you that you were being tested?
I agree Betsey, I need to make it clearer why I want him to come round early on days we have decided to spend the evening together. Maybe he just doesn't 'get it'
I don't think I ask a lot. I don't ask him or want him to come here every night he could go out with his mates on nights he doesn't see me. 
