Now I felt inside someone may point out that I gave him permission to go to the pub so I am ready with my defence...
Firstly, I told him weeks ago that I didn't lke him to go to the pub and then come over. He KNOWS that. He just chose to put his own needs before mine. I think it is unfair for him to think of my home as half way house between his place and the pub.
Secondly; he often asks me if it OK to do stuff...he should be thinking to himself what the right thing to do is...surely? In asking me he kind of hands responsibility over to me. If I had said NO don't go to the pub he would have stored it awy n his 'she is controling folder' If he wants to go to the pub I am more than happy for him to do that INSTEAD of coming over. His choice.
No I didn't tell him what I had planned but maybe I need to make it clearer that after looking after the children all day...looking forward to and planning a meal/evening. Doing the extra shopping, tidying up, getting ready that goes with having someone 'him' over to then have a phone call to say I will be late is very upsetting.
I can't tell him what to do, I don't want to but if we have an arrangement.. a date I expect him to stick to it. If I let him do whatever he wants and just accept it I will just become a doormat again..a very miserable door mat at that.
On the grand scale of things that people seem to put up with this is a very minute thing my H is doing to annoy me, I know that...He's trying hard to please I know that too...but there is no point in going along with stuff thatI don't find acceptable I am only storing up problems for the future.
I really do need to find a better way to deal with this though. I have said to him that I will see him friday. I will drop the boys off. I did this last time he annoyed me; froze him out for a couple of days and that didn't seem to benefit anyone. Must think again about this.
