Just wanted to post a couple of possitives that I have achieved over the last couple of days. Monday H turned up and did something that made me feel upset and uneasy..(what is it about us and Mondays?) Someone had sent him a min porn picture to his phone and he showed me. I was upset about it. I'm not into that kind of thing, nor is he normally, he just thought it was funny and thought he would share it. Instead of getting moody and sulking, I chatted a little about the differences of the sexes; how guys find that kind of thing fun but women often don't. I explaned that I feel for the people in these films. I see them as people being hurt and degraded etc. We also talked about ow different we are as people anyway. He loves slapstick humour where people fall over and stuff like that, It makes him laugh. I can't bear to watch stuff like that either. It was a good chat and I think, I hope that it didn't put him off sharing stuff with me. Nothing was said in a hostile was. We were sitting very close on the chair. it felt ok. The rest of the evening was fun. We played games with the boys and cuddled up.

I think I did well. Initially I was thinking what kind of a person would send you this? Why are you looking at it? what can you see here that is funny..etc etc...but I managed to bite my tongue. In a strange way I felt very empowered. It wasn't as if I was being dishonest bout the way I felt, but choosing to show my feelings in a more appropriate way.

Secondly, he phoned last night to tell me he had been invited to London for the weekend and was unsure whether to go or not. Normally I would have made the decision for him. Either yes you need to go because ....or you can't really afford it etc...this time I just listened and validated. He asked how I felt I said I'm looking forward to spending the weekend with you, but if you choose to go I will still have good weekend. (I have armed myself with a list of things I would like to do when he is not around; kind of like something to fall back on so that if he does decide to do something at the last moment I am not left high and dry.)

So, thats me, Pretty proud of myself for these two little baby steps. I'm getting there!!

Pink