Another good day with only a tiny amount of backsliding.

(bad bit first) This morning I remembered that H owed me some money. He promised to give it me last week but only gave me part of it..So I started thinking maybe he'd spent it. I started to feel anxious and angry and almost pounced on him when he walked through the door. We chatted for a while and I asked him about the money. He told me that he had some unexpected bills and other people he had to pay and had used the money for that. I must admit to feeling very cross that he had put other people before me again. It is always the same. I know he is not the best money manager; I know I allow him to be sloppy with his finances by lending him money. So I am angry at myself as well as him. I was and still am to some extent cross that he feels he should pay other people money before me. So anyway he has agreed to pay me by the end of the month. I don't know why I let it stress me as he has *always* been the same. I am conserned that the childrens maintenece will not be paid regularly and that will cause us problems. H feels his money situation is getting better. From what I can see it is worse than it has ever been. He has never been so much in debt. I feel like it is partly my problem...somehow.

H has asked me not to get so fretful and anxious about money.

Anyway, managed to pull back from that and have a nice day. He came over to take the boys out / do stuff together when he got a phonecall from his friend asking for some help to remove a fridge. H agreed so this kind of delayed plans for an hour. On a possitive note he did take one of the boys with him. They were also given a hamster cage which is something S has been longing for, for a while now so that was cool.

I always feel he puts other people before me. This is an insecurity on my part; I know that but am not sure how to get past feeling hurt when he does this.

The rest of the day went well. The guys all went out and I did some jobs I had to do, when they came home (late) I didn't grumble ( I was expecting them to be late somehow!!)In the evening we all played games together; there was lots of laughter and banter going on. It was a good evening. When the boys had gone to bed H and I snugled up on the sofa untill he dropped to sleep. It was a lovely evening.

I would really like to work on these feelings of aniety and hurt that I experience when it appears that H puts other people before me. I am like a jelous child. Has anyone got any ideas of things that I could do to stop acting this way?

Many thanks Pink