I'm hoping someone over there will understand how it feels to have to end something that you wanted to hold on to so badly.
I'm not that person but I am very sorry this is how it is right now. You have certainly wanted this so badly and you've worked so hard, on yourself and on your M. And in reality, you're not truly done, you're just willing to be done and I think there's a difference. By continuing to work on you and becoming the person you want to feel happy about being, you're giving H every chance to get inspired and take it upon himself to follow your lead and do his own work.
So, off with my rambling. I'll post in surviving the next time I post.
Meet you there!
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go