Letting Go and Holding On

[Confused_in_AZ]

Piglet2,

I was reading your thread and sounds as if we have common situations. Unfortunately, I am just very confused.

Your comment about not being able to maintain a marriage so just being friends is where me and my W are at. We are great friends....but not sure if we are great S for each other. Like your mom's first H, I had some issues and cross a line that she said not to cross. Alcohol only. I guess in the past she always let the line move but if finally taking a stand or trying.

Anyway, we have talked about needs for each other and I can honestly say I have done a 180 in my life. Feel good about myself but missing something. That emptyness you spoke of is great for me. I have talked about my needs of having an emotional connection with my partner. We have not had any physicial intimacy in quite some time. Although I have told W that this is important in a R for me, she has not tried.

I am wondering if I am just trying to hang onto something that is just not going to be there? Am I just being unfair to myself in trying to work on us.

I am wondering how you came to that decision. I have taken the step back from W and realized that when I visit, I feel no love from her in any way. I know that she cares and does love me but for one reason or another, cant show it. I find more and more that when I visit, I walk away angry about the situation.

I am not sure what to do....give up and D? Go dark? We have been separated for almost 5 months. What brought you to your decision about your H.

Any input or advice would be appreciated!