can let her know that you can't handle the negativity right now and ask if she would stop and then calmly remove yourself from it if she chooses not to do so.
I have done that a couple of times. I get the "can't I say what is on my mind?"
"Sure, honey. But right now I'm not at a place where I can listen to it. Perhaps it is a weakness on my part, but I have a hard time listening to what I perceive as negative comments and sometimes I just have to protect myself from it."
Works on paper Mrs NOP, but I don't think I could take her moans and sighs. Besides that is mans work.
Another alternative is to have her doing one of the projects *in another part of the house*. You're just setting up a very bad precedent where she's sitting like the Queen of Sheba while you're working through the list of "things that must be done." If I recall correctly, she doesn't cook either, does she?
Quote: brought up the separate finances but I think BB took it as one step closer to me leaving. I also said anytime she wants to buy her own condo, go ahead. I will not stop her, there are movers advertised in the newspaper.
BB replied that if just want to control her and what I need is some sex nymphomaniac with out a mind of her own so I can control her and have sex anytime I want it.
Regarding the separate finances - "Honey, I've been trying to work out a way that I can respond to your concerns that I am trying to control your spending. You know I haven't been comfortable with the level of spending. I'm trying to balance my concern for what I perceive as overspending with my concern that I have enough money saved for my retirement. The only way I have found to do both of these things is to separate out our finances. I'm open to any ideas you might have that would allow you freedom to spend for your current desires while allowing me freedom to save for my future financial needs. "