I appologize ahead of time if this response is harsh. But IMO you guys can't sit around and place blame only on your wives for spending. Because it sounds like there wasn't a boundary put in place. Also to have a wife that has almost put you in bankruptcy you sat back for quite awhile watching and never took action. For example...how could anyone have resentment if they put their foot down and made boundaries. Example okay wife works and makes XX amount of dollars. You could say you are responsible for the electric, phone and water. I will pay mortgage, insurance or etc. Hold them very responsible for whatever it is and not turn back. If the electric gets shut off because of their irresponsibility then let them figure out how to pay it. If the wife is a SAHM then give her XX amount of dollars for say groceries and you make sure everything else is taken care of. If a husband or wife see's that the other partner has this huge spending problem and doesn't step in then to me it's like being weak and whipped. So afraid of confrontation that they will sit back and watch themselves going broke.
My husband himself is not responsible. I have completely seperated our finances. At first he thought I was going to cave. But I didn't. Now he is starting to be way more responsible in paying what he is assigned to pay.
