Sorry this is stressful for you Jill. I don't intend it to be that way.
Quote: Imagine if the only happiness you found had to be bought.
She is happy with her pets and now most family members. Two or three years ago she did not want much to do with several family members.
Quote: Set a time limit for yourself regarding how much longer you're willing to stay in the R
I have set some goals for myself. Get rid of the things I don't use much.
BB says she loves me but is frustrated with the amount of things in the house. She keeps buying but has less trouble than me just trashing good things, while I am trying to maxamize the potential usage of what I get rid of by giving most to recycling centers and donation stores.
Quote: how much longer you're willing to stay in the R with no change and then leave if there are no changes
No changes?? That is not a difficult question. The tough question will be, I make changes. Will BB's changes be enough to keep the R, from either partner POV, worth while.
If everything would stay the same as today and I had my part of the R in order, my part of the house junk free, my business wrapped up, I might see you at the next Michigan DB meeting. I can drink "A" beer, eat, talk, and bowl too. I think you group did that one time.
Jill, you asked if I was afraid to be alone=No. Afraid to date=no, Concerned that I might not find someone compatable=a big yes. I kind of qualify for the TV program "What Not to Wear", another TV program "Clean Sweep" and maybe one of the other "Social Skils Improvement" programs. Nothing drastically wrong with me. Not a redneck, but not Mr Refined either. Just a nice working guy basically.
I read your thread and see that you like guys you date but there is not much happening in terms of "he is the one." I see this quite often in posts. But that is getting ahead of the game I am in right now. That game is called fix what you can, don't expect too much to happen very fast, do my part as best as I can.
Am I happy with the resultas so far=no. Do I see some improvement in my handeling of the situation=yes. Do I still need to improve = yes and yes. Does BB need to change=yes. Has BB made some changes=yes. Are they enough=no, not for me.
BB's TV viewing habits have to be worked on next. She is queen of the remote. She likes sit-coms, I like something reality based. Time to change channels or turn the TV off. BB is not much for going out except to eat or shop. That is another item on my near term change list.
I have to replace a strip of wallpaper. Bye for now.
I think you group did that one time.
