I interpreted your dream on the other thread a couple of days ago.
I presume because you are in C that BB is aware how unhappy you are? Have you considered laying all the cards on the table and saying 'I feel unloved, I am unhappy, I am thinking about D' and see what she thinks?? It might be a wake up call.
It's obvious to me that you don't know if you want her or not or if you're still in love. I think a lot of your negativity isn't so much about money or even sex, but your general feeling that whatever effort you make, she will not do the same and your belief that she won't ever change so you are toing and froing over whether you want a M with her and this is making you miserable.
I think once you've decided how to proceed, you'll feel better, either way.
The other idea I thought of is maybe have a long holiday just for you, like a month or something, just to chill out and relax and think about what you want to do. It'd give her chance to miss you, too, and she might make more effort.
