Lou I think you are building up a lot of resentment over things you do have control over.

For instance.....you are entitled to meet people or have friends. This isn't something I would ask her permission about. Lots of couples have friends whether thjey be male or female.

If you want to take a vacation but she doesn't like to. Then just go and have fun. Realize it is her choice to do what she wants to do. She is a grown up and can take care of herself or find things to do while you are gone. It seems like you are almost scared to go away. Lots of couples also take seperate vacations.

The money situation to me is easily resolved. I would sit her down and say listen we are retired so the money we have needs to last us through our retirement years. But SEPERATE you finaces totally. Make a list accordingly with what money she has and ask that she pay some of the bills. For instance okay say BB you pay the electric. If she doesn't and it gets shut off then she will have to pay it right away. Maybe she could learn something about money that way. If she wants to shop and blow her whole retirement funds then so be it. Try not to resent it. Just let her know that it is all the money she will have because you finances are going to be seperate. If she runs out of money she could always take a part time job. But you have to be firm and map out a plan and talk to her about it. But then stick to it. The way I see it if you appointed her to handle some of the finances and seperated your finaces it seems you would have a lot less resentments.

Also Lou you don't seem to want to put your foot down with her. It's like your afraid to rock the boat. Maybe I am wrong that is just my impression. You made a couple comments about the Leave it To Beaver kind of mentality. Where I guess the women didn't work and the husband handled everything. Well, that also included the husband handling the finaces. Not the women shopping and spending money like it was going out of style. Seemed back then the men very much ruled the house. The women were very submissive I guess the word is to their husbands. But by what I have read I don't think you are firm with your wife at all. You just keep caving in and letting her do whatever she wants.

On some things I can see her point. Lou..I bought a furniture set 5 years ago I think, and this year I am going to buy a new set. I don't think I would ever keep a set 25 years. And honestly I am not a spend thrift. I know lots of people who change their furniture quite a lot. 25 years is a looong time to keep something. I could see her wanting new.