Dear Mr Pack Rat, I'm curious as to why you go shopping with BB. It seems that your opinions are not taken into account, therefore, this is just another frustration to you.
Also, you've been told by various people "numerous" times to hire some of this work done rather than doing it yourself. Why don't you do it?
I see two huge problems here. Two by four coming......BB spends too much money and you are way too cheap. There has to be a compromise here somewhere. BB may be going overboard because you've been tight with money for so long. Lighten up. You can't take it with you. Have some fun. Take a spectacular vacation. The one you've only ever dared dream of........alone!!!! I don't intend to leave a dime for my kid. She can work as hard as I have and earn her own money. That does not mean that I spend with wild abandon, but I will not deny myself some things after working all of these years.
About BB's credit card bill. Didn't you say that she has some money of her own? If so, why do you care what she puts on it? Make her pay the damned bill out of "her" money. If she doesn't have her own money, divorce her, get all credit cards divided up so that if she doesn't pay hers, it doesn't affect "your" credit and find someone that likes sex.
Just out of curiosity and don't want anyone to think that I'm in favor of divorces, because I'm definitely not, but....why do you stay with BB? Do you love her? Are you afraid to be alone? Do you like feeling needed? What keeps you with her when you are obviously so miserable.
These are all questions I had to ask myself when I finally decided to D my XH.
Sorry to be so blunt, but I don't think you're listening!!!!
My answer to myself was "I was afraid of dying alone". Finally, I decided that I would take my chances of dying alone rather than spending the rest of my time alive being miserable with someone who did not want to work on our R.
