Update This final week in 2005 has gone pretty well. Looking back on the year, I'm amazed at what my sitch has thrown at me and how I'm still standing.
Today, S6 and I went to a new very posh/big downtown library. He enjoyed the children's section, and then we ventured off to the zoo. We ate an early supper in a zoo cafe, and I recalled us eating there together about 1 year ago, and how moping and down I was. Today, we were laughing and joking, and I wasn't noticing all the intact loving couples. For the first time in about 1 month, S6 mentioned the possibility of our family getting "back together." I merely kissed his head, and told him that we'd be just fine.
I feel whole while alone. Not completely happy, by any means, but whole.
I posted about a neighbor who reconciled with his XW ~6 yrs ago, but seemed to do so with her b/c they were both lonely, rather than b/c of any joint growth, etc... Well, today he told me that they are splitting up again. I strongly suspect MOS behaviors. They both seem a bit depressed, and he drinks a bit much. Anyway, it made me think about what I truly want for the remainder of my life.
XW seems jealous/angry. There are other explanations, but she seems to be focusing on me more. She told my brother's wife that I've lost interest in S6 (even lied about how much time I'm spending with him to her) and that I'm running around with an OW. So a mutual FF told her about Professional Lady, and the veneer of "I don't care" has a crack on it. Today, she seemed to turn a corner and called in a friendly manner to note how she's taking care of an insurance issue for me (I let it go to VM, but I plan to thank her).
The date with PL went well, but not exceptional. She's a very social person and on this date, seemed quite happy to keep things superficial. On my part, I thought "Be careful what you wish for" as I wanted just that, but find myself also missing intimacy (not just physical intimacy, Lost!). A couple of new/old dating prospects have arisen, and I think I'll pursue them, as I don't want to overfocus on anything or anyone at this time.
Lots of busy focus on S6, working out, spirituality, work and a nice sense of accomplishment have helped me to keep a perspective on this other stuff.
