Thanks for posting, Steve (hey Buddy, long time no hear!), Jay, Koshka, and Merrick!
Hope everyone had a nice Christmas. I made sure that I did. Christmas Eve was spent enjoying a traditional Cajun meal with friends - wow, do they know how to use spices! My prilosec was overrun within an hour after the meal, and I didn't have a single piece of antacid meds in the house, with no hope to find a drugstore open Christmas Eve, and no desire to be out on the roads with all the drunks weaving about in their cars. 3 of my 4 grandparents were killed by drunk drivers, so I'm a bit wary of the odds - my family seems to attract them like moths to a flame. Anyway, I jumped online and found a natural remedy of bananas and chamomile tea, wolfed down 2 bananas and drank a tall mug of tea, and waala! - it worked! Within 45 min, I was burping happily and the burning sensation was gone.
At transfer, XW gave me a few items that S6 made, but there was a simmering of anger about her, and no eye contact that I could see. Seems to be her way when her parents are about, with her transforming to a friendlier self within hrs after they leave. Not trying to influence that anymore, just staying as positive as I can - for myself.
S6 and I played most of the day, putting together Lego sets in front of the cozy fire, wrestling, snuggling, watching cartoons. At bedtime, he said "I get to sleep with you on special days and today is Christmas. Hurray!" I groaned to myself, b/c he sleeps like a tornado, tossing and turning. We have a running joke that I find a big bedbug (him) in my bed in the morning if he's snuck in there at some point in the early morn, with me saying "Hey, there's a bedbug in my bed! How'd you get in here!" Anyway, we had a great Christmas.
Mon started off with great promise, as I was to go kayaking with my date(Professional Lady). PL called me concerned about the weather, but was trusting me to make the call whether it was safe or not. How great is that to be trusted by a woman?! I'm not sure I can remember the feeling. I called it off after checking with some watersport sites I trust. It would have been possible, just not necessarily fun for her 1st time, as the water'd have been too choppy.
We're on for a light dinner/movie date tonight (Kong). PL's a very busy, and socially booked lady. I'd expect no less from someone as attractive and accomplished as her. Without bashing my city, I told her that I was surprised to meet such a cosmopolitan woman here. Maybe SF or NY, but here? In my youth, I'd be threatened by her level of qualities. Today, I'm either very laissez-faire about women or I'm just confident in myself. I think she was burned in her M, and is a bit shy about intimacy. On my part, going very slow fits my needs to a 'T'.
I'm not minimizing the qualities of my XW. We shared humble blue-collar-type roots, and I was (and still am) very proud of our ability to climb the academic and career ladders, past many a silver-spooned colleague. Yet, at such great personal cost. I love XW's expressiveness. The very characteristic that could wound me deeply, as when she would lash out at me, could be very loving and soothing when positive. She has a 'raw' toughness and youthful exuberance that could also be course and immature, while PL has a polished discipline, is very cultured and mature, yet is much more muted and cautious. Funny how any characteristic used to describe a person can be perceived in positive and negative ways by the observer. Michelle Weiner-Davis writes about this in DR when she describes the traits that are grating on the nerves now, but that we once fell in love with.
I noticed that I didn't mope yesterday when our outing didn't happen. I just took down the boats from my truck, threw on my old sweats, started a fire in the fireplace, and wrote all day, taking occasional breaks to practice guitar. It was a very enjoyable day - all by myself.
Even with some periodic setbacks, I guess I'm proving to myself that these DBing changes (GAL work, stoking one's PMA, etc...) do work, and that taking responsibility for one's situation rather than blaming external things, can be a very freeing, empowering situation.
Anyway, we had a great Christmas.