Quote: As for the fight. In my experience, the X gets these expectations that for some reason you are still supposed to fulfill for them and the only way they know how to respond is with anger.
Wes is hitting a nail head on this. I've seen this myself having previously experienced divorce. Come to think of it, I think this was the source of a lot of SO's anger last fall right around my move-time. I wasn't meeting his expectations of being rigid or whiney or whatever (not sure what his expectations were, but I wasn't engaging in any more arguing with him). I recall that his anger escalated quite a bit when I responded in unexpected ways.
Great job not taking the bait.
The way things have been with your XW, I would agree with your decision to go dark, and not even a card from you. But do take your S shopping for Mommy.