Thanks for posting Wllowwlk, TG, Bustin, and Bulldogr,
TG & Bustin, I appreciate the props. This place was very hard to work toward, and every time I get complacent (with myself), I find myself starting to drift downward or out of center (whatever you might call it). Seems like living well takes great effort - for noone other than one's self.
Wllowwlk, I remember when you reached that place. And I remember my doubts that XW would ever have the capacity to be at or to have the insights that SO did at that time/place. But I've stopped trying to make sense of things, stopped making predictions, and just decided to let others be. I want her to be happy. And yet I will be happy as well, refusing to be miserable as a consequence of her leaving.
Things are still in play, with her calling me or S6 3 times/day since their return from Iowa. Lots of holiday talk, such as what to get S6, or discussions about her looking for a pet (cat) for them, but also some basic conversation.
This weekend, S6 and I had a blast together. I was fighting off a cold most of the time, but we still had indoor fun despite that and dreary weather. He got to go with me to a coaches meeting for a kid's basketball league - to start 3 weeks. A cute single-mom/coach seemed to single me out for introduction and conversation. A bit young for me, but fun to talk with. However cute she is, I'll still coach my team of wee folk to victory over her group of munchkins! Hmmm, maybe a wager of dinner?...Nah, I'm too old, and there's little in common.
Professional Lady called this morn to talk. We've been averaging 1 contact/day. I'm looking forward to a dinner date with her tomorrow, as we had a great convo in person last time. When I asked if we were still on at the start of the convo, she sounded hurt or surprised and said "I really hope we're still on." I need to rid myself of even the preface for rejection that I learned so well while with XW and just relax more/be more optimistic with these contacts.
I'm disappointed in you. Any woman that is closer in age to you than she is to your son is plenty old. You're lucky because your son is only six that leaves you all women from 23 on up. My oldest being 14 means I can only go for 26 and over.
Anyway, isn't it nice that a woman actually WANTS to see you and enjoys your company? Scarey though.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Ha! Funny, JM. I'm finding myself attracted to women with some signs of maturity. Not that maturity is age-related, as there are plenty of silver-haired fools in the world.
At the request of my IC, I created a list of desired and undesired characteristics in a partner. Desired: Intelligent Attractive Active/Fit - active participation in events, not merely a spectator Independent Goal-directed, with some accomplishment Experience/learning regarding longterm Rs, M Child-friendly Warm Nurturant Balance b/t Giver/Taker Optimistic Sexually at Ease/confident in Femininity Experience with IC Music lover Child friendly Must like dogs
Undesired: Materialistic/Overconsumptive Pessimism Overly Rigid Inability to forgive/apologize Lack of spiritual focus Can drink me under the table Hair shorter/sparser that mine. Won't try to dance Current incarceration Desire limited to U.S. entry/citizenship
Food for thought: What are you looking for in a partner?
How likely is it that your XS/WAS fits your rule-ins/rule-outs?
Over the past 1-2 months, I must say that XW is starting some movement toward the desired directions. But its going to take her some time, and very consistent effort to make lasting changes. Time will tell...
Meanwhile, I plan to have a swell time during tonight's date.
I agree with your traits, but I will add a few to the list;
Positive: foreign accent (sorry can't help the attraction) long shiny hair she can be 5' 10" can be good with managing money
Negative: manipulative addictions of any extreme (ie gambling, drugs, OM, etc) Bipolar (sorry I have done my internship and then some) if they say anything about trying to find their one and only soulmate I am running as fast as I can If their boyfriend calls me in the middle of the night crying because she is stocking him, I am relocating.
Ah yes they should be single, but they should also have enough morals to leave the married man alone.
My X never cared if they were married, she has had two affairs with married men, one convict "nasty beyond nasty" after the D, but she left me for him, then after he ran off she wanted me back.
Oh? You see that as a desirable trait? I thought marriages were disposable and a married woman or man was just a person that happened to have a ring on their left 3rd finger instead of their right. :P
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
And I see your thread is locked up! 
Hmmm, maybe a wager of dinner?...Nah, I'm too old, and there's little in common. 