Gabe,

I've been lurking quite a bit and watching the debate here, mostly because I'm not terribly far from where you are right now.
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I'm getting very detached from her and wondering if either my love for her is gone, or if I'm becoming the WAS. I'm taking it slow with PL, and just putting my learning into play and practicing to be in a healthy relationship with a woman while with her.


This is exactly where I was at in July, right after my birthday. I was really on the verge of moving on because I had finally healed enough to know that I was truly going to be alright, with or without SO.

And, as you may recall, just about the time I came to that realization, SO came to his senses!

I'm going to venture a wild guess here, since I have a reasonable sense of your XW, based on the many, many conversations we've shared. If/when she starts sensing your growing detachment, I would predict one of two things -- she'll either do a 180 and start pursuing you (especially if she finally gets that she has some serious competition), or you may end up seeing her level of hostility increase, especially toward you. If this happens, again it will be because she's starting to figure out that she screwed up by letting you go, but it's still internal.

That said, if you see neither of those reactions when she figures out you have found a really good one, then that may be your cue to really move on, my friend.

I'll be curious to read your posts in the future. Just be sure to take it very, very slow and enjoy where you are right now! You're doing a wonderful job, my friend! <applause for Gabe!>

M

Every Day a New Day