Quote: It's pretty tricky because I know the old one actually existed at one time and I can't block it out of my memory
The old relationship isn't one you should block out of your memory, but it is only fair to let all the memories surface, not just the pleasant ones. As I meet various WAWs or at least wives that initiated the divorce, the common theme seems to be an intimate knowledge of the faults and mistakes of their Xs. They hold some memories, but they are grabbing on to the negative ones. Even the LBSs that have either adjusted or have no more desire for a R with their Xs keep in mind that life would not be peachy with their X back in it. It's only fair when you are considering a relationship with anyone to consider the negatives as well as the positives. I don't think dwelling on negatives is a healthy thing, but rational consideration of what the X actually brings to the table is only prudent. In most every other situation, we learn from our mistakes, or at least hope to, and relationships should be no different. Keeping the past in mind is useful in avoiding the mistakes in the future.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
