Quote: I'm getting very detached from her and wondering if either my love for her is gone, or if I'm becoming the WAS. I'm taking it slow with PL, and just putting my learning into play and practicing to be in a healthy relationship with a woman while with her.
In my view, without question, the first, second, and third easiest way to move on from an old R is to get a new one. My online dating ventures confirm this, as just a simple online chat moves W to the back burner.
But remember, love is a decision. So what is really happening seems to be that the chemical/emotional bonds of your R with XW are diminishing while new emotional bonds (perhaps even substitute) are being developed. The trickier question is the one you are gently handling now: "Where do you go from here?"
For me, it's like living in parallel universes. The first is maintaining a sliver of hope for family unity and livng a chaste life in fidelity with my faith--even if I don't always like it. The second universe involves letting go of the old, trying to accept that it doesn't exist, and moving forward in a new life. It's pretty tricky because I know the old one actually existed at one time and I can't block it out of my memory--especially when I'm still operating at some level in that universe with regard to my children.
But I'm not demanding answers, just taking one day at a time to see if any new light comes my way. Have a great weekend my friend.
