Wow! What a great debate. It reminds me of the fable of the 8 blind men and the elephant...
JM, a new R or attention/attraction from/to an OP does pump up the PMA, just look at the WASs who have their OPs. When Professional Lady (PL) and I talked briefly yesterday eve, my mood was elevated, and in turn my interactions with S6 were more positive than when I'm in a moopy, down mood.
S6's sights are set on his family, though. He drew a very nice pic in art class of three 'snow ducks' including hats, scarves, snowballs, etc.. that were of S6, XW and I. I'm not sure what would happen to his mindset if one or both of us had an OP.
I'm leaving the deeper meaning of D and remarriage, etc... to the Big Guy. I don't think there's a clear answer. I think you're right that the best way is probably harder than the 'wrong' way, and that it is important not to be a resentful sufferer or martyr. I plan to live a very happy, fulfilling life. To do otherwise would be to allow myself to be doomed by my XW's decision to leave.
Had a nice convo with XW solidified visitation over break - splitting his time roughly 50-50% b/t the two of us. She asked me to speak to him, as he was crying hard about not taking home a kitten that they had seen at the animal shelter. They are looking for a cat. I reassured him that his mom would do her best to look, and when he asked me to 'help', I said it was b/t her and him. In our time together, XW had 5 pets that she eventually got rid of due to her growing tired of them. I see pet adoption as an introduction of a new permanent family member, so I'm staying away from this topic, letting her find her way.
When she pressured me about getting a dog for S6 for Christmas, I stated, "Well, I know that you'll do the right thing for you and S6 at your place, and I'll be doing the same for my household by getting a dog at the right time. I'm not sure Christmas is the right time for us at my place." Then I shifted topic back to less allergenic cats.
I'm getting very detached from her and wondering if either my love for her is gone, or if I'm becoming the WAS. I'm taking it slow with PL, and just putting my learning into play and practicing to be in a healthy relationship with a woman while with her. She is so much more mature. Is MLC behavior immaturity or just a normal phase of life?
I think I'll enjoy these holidays at a level I never expected to, even two months ago - independent of what happens with XW or PL, I'm just content to be in my own skin, and to be going in the direction I'm going.
