I don't disagree with your thouights that we have to move forward and show the kids something positive. I also understand that you can't draw blood from a stone, nor do I want a W to stay "for the sake" of vows.
But therein lies something that may be hard for many people to understand. The vows should take on a deeper meaning, and with the Faith that accompanies the vows (M is a sacrament in the Catholic Church), you don't just stay for their sake, the vows are to become living, breathing unifying works of the Holy Spirit that transform them into the kind of love that truly makes the two of you closer to one.
This may sound corny to many, but I know through my own experience and faith journey that Christ DOES help us through times of hurt and wounded pride and the journey in Christ is in large part the journey of turning away from pure self-interest and turning closer to God. That journey is transforming (born again if you will), but IMHO, cannot be taken fully, or dare I say honestly, if we choose to define God solely in terms of our own wants, desires, and needs--as so many of us do--including me.
So yes, vows with no moral backing are meaningless and empty--the basis for many an annulment and broken marriages. And as I said in my earlier post, I will not be shackled by the losses incurred (or harbor deep resentments), but the loss cannot be ignored and still stands as a model of how things should be--and I see nothing wrong in aspiring to that.
