I went on two dates - one Sat night and one Sun morn. The first happened quickly, literally w/thin 24 hrs, and seemed very lust-driven. Dinner then off to quiet my libido with a very hot date. In the heated moment, tho, in a somewhat awkward fashion, I rolled over, and said to her, "You're going to kill me, and I'm sorry, but I can't do this." She was incredibly understanding, and complimentary, etc..., and told me not to be hard on myself. I did feel bad about putting myself and her in that situation, but relieved about stopping myself. There is no future with this person, as I was merely attracted to her physically.
The second date was slow in development, with a stunningly attractive professional who I've mentioned before. She scares me, not b/c of anything negative, but b/c she has so many positives about her. We met for coffee (I drank decaf, T ), and she cancelled what likely was an exit strategy (going to a Jags football game) to stay with me and talk longer over her offer of lunch. We spent 4 hrs together, and it flew by. She seems kind and thoughtful, and very mature. I noticed my baggage rearing its head at times, like me shying away from intimacy (kiss/hug goodbye) with her. Interesting how I felt that way with a woman with real promise for an R, but not from the more shallow connection.
S6 called me at night - first convo b/t us in about 3 days. He was very jokey with me and noted that, as XW had bought him 3 star wars watches (a current fastfood offer/ploy), he was going to give me one "cause I don't have 3 arms!" What a great boy. He'll be back tomorrow.
A brief exchange with XW over the phone included her being abrupt, cold, and barking at S6 in the background. I imagine she was stressed about traveling today, but geesh, how does any reconciliation have a chance when a person has positive options being compared to a very slowly changing negative past R? I truly hope that God in his wisdom has a plan, because I'm back to a big mess of confusion. I'll likely get back to plodding along with my self-work and take things slowing with this professional, if she's up to seeing me more.
), and she cancelled what likely was an exit strategy (going to a Jags football game) to stay with me and talk longer over her offer of lunch. We spent 4 hrs together, and it flew by. She seems kind and thoughtful, and very mature. I noticed my baggage rearing its head at times, like me shying away from intimacy (kiss/hug goodbye) with her. Interesting how I felt that way with a woman with real promise for an R, but not from the more shallow connection. 
What a great boy. He'll be back tomorrow. 