Me, sorry, hate to break this to you, but Kevin was first, making you #2.
Betsey, your other post wasn't depressing, at least not to me. I have nearly the same exact struggle - whether an annulment would mean the M didn't ever exist, with my beloved S6 existing from an R that never was intended by God. I don't think this is so, and I know we were deeply in love at the time. However, that was then, and this is now. Your, Merricks, and Beth's posts on the topic were all very helpful and left me with much hope. I can see the role of it being to release a person from their vows, with a right to pursue true love elsewhere. I think I'm years away from that, but I've learned not to predict the future.
Thank you for your compliments! I didn't realize that our Ds were so close - you seem so much further along in terms of adjustment and personal growth! Don't wait up for me, I'll push harder to catch up!
In terms of a new R, for the first time, I'm consistently thinking about someone better entering my life rather than 'what if's' regarding XW. She may surprise me, but that's all her work. I'm going to proceed with my life.
Meeting Me and K in person was excellent. Me is a very positive person, despite his thread-name. I've learned a lot from him, especially his experiences related to his 1st D and being a step-parent. I can still hear his laughing during our Vegas trip. K is a very gifted, faith-filled, deep individual with a backbone that assures courageous stances in the face of personal attacks, opposition or isolation. I've learned a lot about trying to balance being a great father, a worker, and meeting one's own needs thru his posts. If you ever get the chance to meet either one of them, I suggest doing so.
