Ok, at one week post SSSSSSSSSSSSssssssssssssssiP! I can catagorically state that I can, under the correct sit, be aroused. YIPPEE! Ok the hormones may not be all gone but the mind still plays the role.
Too bad, it was with finding some porn on H's puter that he was watching while I was in the hospital gettting "fixed". There is so much irony there that his "release" is sexual. When the rest of him isn't. Thank goodness I can intellectually understand that looking at budding young women under humilitating circumstances is considered exciting and not related to the emotional connection of the marriage bed.
An affair may not be honest, respectful or anything else other than selfish and selfmedicating need to be loved.
That thinking is so ironic, I know I'm loved. In services...yet to have taken the smoother pavement, and not looking at confused young girls being taken avantage of would have been so nice to know was happening while I was being "spayed".
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
