Cobra

Yes she is flip. Her foo is much more hispanic then oriental.
Your comments about her foo are right on, and yesterday when she apologized and went thru her litany of things she did wrong, she said the biggest one was not speaking up. Her family is very enmeshed, yada yada.

some things. I went to Houston where OM already was. When SHTF we came back to SoCal.

Career wise OM is pretty successful. Any altruism on my part was purely friendship wise, get him out of his depression, and maybe off the drugs. Long term they will mess him up, but if he is addicted judging from his usage they dont affect his work. He was like a brother too me, I wasnt trying to feed my ego.

I had no confidance or ego a year ago. Normally, things including work seem to come pretty quickly when I want them, Houston market after Enron, Worldcom, and Reliant layoffs made things not so good, to put it mildly, in the field I was seeking. part of her taking a year and a month to graduate instead of 3 months. Market there was good when we planned move.
cest la vie.
While not a big hardship financially, it rocked my world, I had a lot of importance and future proceedings all tied up with it, besides which I dont do well not doing. I get antsy. Looking back I shake my head. Dumb. If she had said we will be fine, You always figure it out, as evedinced by my past performance, I likely would have snapped out of it. words of encouragement. Not her job though, I am the man, supposed to provide the security.

This also means that leaving her may not be a default decision. I agree, but it is too late now. My litany yesterday was Nopkins in my head, we are both to messed up to make a go of this.

What is in your background that you have not shared? Why do you push so hard to prove yourself? Why are you so obsessed with success? Why do you cater to dangerous jobs and challenge fate? You know fully well this is akin to a death wish, which in turn comes from self hatred. Where does this originate in you? Who are you trying to live up to, to impress? For men, I think this is usually the father, trying to get acceptance and respect that father never gave. Give us some background on this

Dangerous jobs, dont seem dangerous to me. They feel fun and exciting. They require me to be on, and pay attention, and are a kind of a 'test' I guess. I dont think I have self-hatred, I just dont have fear of death. I have some stories, and scars to go with this. Because of this I dont seize up in when things get weird. I had more uncontrollable emotion during D yesterday then when things get hairy. As for being obsessed with success.... that may apply to Warren Buffet, or Trump, or Bill Gates. I want to be the best that I can at whatever I turn my attention too. I dont know what the best I can be is without pushing myself till I fail.

Like HP said I am a bastard truly, parents D was just before or after my birth, barely know my father. never looked up to my step-dad as a father figure, and thats not rewriting history one smidgen.

As far as rising quickly in the blue collar field, there are some amazing characters out there. thinking they are incompetent etc, especially in LaLa Land, is not a good tactic to take. Man there are so many gifted people in different ways in the sector I was involved in. Many of them are there because of the money, and because they get bored easily. Every few months they have to struggle all over again. I had something that made school easy. I can comprehend and regurgitate like no tomorrow. Doesnt make me better or smart. Its just one kind of intelligence, that people get hung up on during school years.
I am a R mess and fumbling thru life like everyone else despite the fact that my interpersonal skills are not shabby. If anything being told your smart as a young person can do you a disservice. You get to full of yourself, overconfidant that you can run into ANY situation and figure it out, and fix it as you go, rather then being cautious and humble.
R dominoes fall faster then I can keep up. As a man I think the dominoes are more along the lines of JENGA though. We build upwards with our foundation being our wife. When she goes the resulting 33 ft/sec/sec collapse is real damn fast. Women build horizontally, like a strip mall. They just go to a different store if their favorite one closes.

Where did I see that illustration...?

Thanks for your comments, some of it is important for me to keep in mind. I was half tempted to hijack my thread and talk with you about the market and commodities. I think gold is going to go higher.