You spoke of gaining insight through your communications with some of the women on this board....even I think I understand US better. I certainly understand H a lot better. I think he's the typical alpha. I just realized that he swept me away from a really nice guy I was dating by putting him down, pointing out his "flaws" to me. I never realized 'til now that it was probably all some big macho competition that my bf at the time wasn't even aware was going on. I fell right into that one. I gave up that R, moved out on my own, changed jobs...then he said he wanted to date other people. Big F'n joke that was, 'til I said "OK" and proceded to have a great time without him. It was amazing how fast he turned around that time.

Instead of seeing it as a red flag, it seemed to be true love to me....I think it's been some freaking macho contest all along, even now. Thanks to some of you guys here, I think I see it more clearly now though. Thanks

Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.