Lost 25 lbs of muscle during R and 2 jacket sizes. Stopped the free weight routine. Girly man now. Need to climb the mountain again I lost 20 in 2 weeks at beginning of affair, worked (always a struggle) 15 back, lost again due to atrohy from accident. So tired of climbing that mountain. I just want to stay up there. SJWort. thumbs up. My choice too.
I am soooo seriously creeped out right now. Are you my long lost milquetoast twin? I am half tempted to have you email me a photo....
Need to be OM if new R is to begin...
gross-- no dont do that. no respect. just two needy people. you will never have a healthy M, just a semi sick R.
after Nops comments to me I am satisfied with my actions after she left again. I was starting to doubt myself with all the women confirming my unsaid decoding of her comments, seeking. If this is a second for you also, suggest you follow Nops remarks to me. Do not initiate anything. Has D been started?
You spoke of gaining insight through your communications with some of the women on this board....even I think I understand US better. I certainly understand H a lot better. I think he's the typical alpha. I just realized that he swept me away from a really nice guy I was dating by putting him down, pointing out his "flaws" to me. I never realized 'til now that it was probably all some big macho competition that my bf at the time wasn't even aware was going on. I fell right into that one. I gave up that R, moved out on my own, changed jobs...then he said he wanted to date other people. Big F'n joke that was, 'til I said "OK" and proceded to have a great time without him. It was amazing how fast he turned around that time.
Instead of seeing it as a red flag, it seemed to be true love to me....I think it's been some freaking macho contest all along, even now. Thanks to some of you guys here, I think I see it more clearly now though. Thanks
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Blackie, I meant to get on last night and tell you to ignore everything I posted yesterday--that I was talking out of my arse. But I didn't have time and so my apology was a bit late. Good thing cause then I see you making bad big wolf eyeballs at JuniorPot!
I was thinking about you and your wife and it sure seems that there is a BIG discrepancy re: core values. You are such an upstanding person...right is Right and wrong is Wrong. You remind me soooo much of MrH in this regard. (and that is a *huge* compliment) The more I hear about your situation and OM's (ahem) fine qualities, the more I am questioning her character, period.
Hope this next week does not drag on endlessly. I pray for you all the time.
P.S. I was dating 3 men at the time I met my H--he was one of the three. Is this really that unusual? It did get a little hairy at times, but it all worked out okay.
Oh and Stig, my H was 28 when we married, your supposed age of schizophrenia?? I was 28 when I had my first child. In our home, 28 is an age where good things happen to you. We have now been married almost 10 years (our anni is right after Turkey Day) and I am hopeful that the next decade is less tumultuous than the last.
I probably could have come up with a better response yesterday, but I am wiped from being in manic stage just prior to Dday. Got grumpy handed out a spanking. Candle is being burned on both ends, x speaks to me in my dreams, cant sleep, and puddle of wax grows. set trap, point at trap, youngest of 6 steps in anyway. written communication skills falter. Im just a uneducated blue collar simple kinda guy.
TRUCE. mi amigo. I really sincerely hope you see how women fall into this 'trap' with their H's though when the H's unintentionally act like I 'acted'. Because I care.
<Gruff voice> 'nuff said. all this R talk makes me uncomfortable....
Of course TRUCE. You know I value your perspective BF but it is so fun to give you a hard time I sometimes get sidetracked Back to business at hand. I know you are going through a very hard time right now with DDay coming up. We are thinking of you and are hear to listen if you need to come and ball your eyes out (I know, not very manly) but who cares right now Sometimes you just got to let it fly. So you are not sleeping? That sucks. I remember when H first left I was up at all hours. Crazy schedule. Wore me out. Take care of yourself. And yes, this "youngest of sex"....Lol! was that a Freudian slip. I meant "youngest of six". Almost erased it but thought it was too funny. Hee Hee. Anyways, this youngest of six falls into "the trap" all the time. Gotta learn. Still trying to get it. Thanks for saying you care. That means a lot. And I know H cares too. Sometimes when we get emotional we say things we do not mean or they just come out the wrong way. Guilty as charged myself. Working on it. Thanks BF!!!!!
Actually, Chromo, our last decade has been full of SO many good memories. H and I were married for 4 years before we had kids and so we had time to have lots of adventures/vacations and we remember them fondly. Then there is the birth of our kids and those memories are tumultuous, but in a good way.
I rather like excitement and would have been bored to the point of running away, were it just good happy times. But I think I could have lived without the emotional abandonment and subsequent sexual difficulties. Call me crazy.
I am looking forward to the next stage of our lives, which will be focused on raising our kids. (as opposed to the last stage which was getting married and having kids and building a life together) By the time the next decade draws to a close, my oldest will be 16 and then, of course, it will be time for her and I to head to the hills and hope this Alaska-trained bastard can't find us.
Sometimes you just got to let it fly. 
