No not suprised at all. Probably why I vented on her, another test to see if she was really done or not. major push/no returning pull. I have no doubts she was/is in love with him in some fashion. He is very attractive. when he massed mailed their R mementos she said 'he must be in a lot of pain' of course when I got upset prior to that, I was a axxhole. Whatchagonnado. my reason for throwing in the towel is as I have stated around here about biological male value. women dont leave a man that has it. I dont for her. Fine. good luck.
There was no rejection during my EA, which it wasnt. I took no resources and gave them to OW. I was infatuated and in lust. It was completely internal/ or at least unverbalized on my part. I know danger of declarations. No rejections of x. Yes she felt it. You dont have to tell me about sensitivity especially hers, good for other guys to hear though. I was in MC wreck once before and she told her mom something was wrong and then called me as I was walking in the door. She would wake up and wake me up before earthquakes. Roll your eyes, disbelieve, its true, I dont care there were others between us and still have been the past few months, but I have proved my point already or appear a liar.
Ditto with the OM living in your house and then your subsequent rejection of her when you noticed her attachment forming. (which you now seem to think she should dissolve like Drano on a sink clog--doesn't work that way)
I didnt reject her. Look at my actions when we got there. Well you dont know them but she does and agreed in hindsight during reconcil. UNTILL I cut her off after she responded to OM overtures. as for dissolving R I had three girlfriends when I met her. If that makes me a player fine. Sue me. I still know attraction. and woman code. Dissolved them in less then 3 weeks/ less then 2 meetings. When infatuation with my PA happened I cut it off like pulling batteries out of a flashlight, one day energy, the next a useless lightbulb. and still had to work with her every day for months. I was polite, short, professional, abrupt. NO humor no macho. x was not taking care of my 'needs' - ala Dr Harley during this time. (Didnt know of it yet) So what that wasnt in the vows. Divorce her (yea I thought about it for a week, travel the world with OW, working for studio, tons of money, everything provided for, no commitments, job I loved, responsibility, danger, knowledge that OW was psych broken, IMO making me feel good but it wouldnt last. Since I am broken too and I screwed up M, guess I should have. Saved W from my Narcissim.)
or work thru the bad spot, focus on the good look to the future, work on plans made. Not Fcuk her over, and treat her callously.
WHY did you allow OM into your home? Have you asked yourself this question? lets see.... everyday for the past.... 20 months? multiple times. why, why, why, I was doing him a favor, maybe help him with drugs, depression, it was convenient since I moved there 2 months before she did, he 'needed' a place too, he makes 90 Gs a year but was sleeping under friends kitchen table. NO I didnt stutter. (This by the way was admirable because he sacrificed so much for the things he attained because of it. savings account. her words after A) and my favorite, it shouldnt have mattered. I should be able to go and take my wife anywhere and count on her. I didnt cut her off untill she reacted to him. She traded in everything, for one thing although she is mistaken on that too. So he was right, I was wrong, women will throw everything away for there feelings. No offense to those of you here not like that. I know and you know who you are.
He has some issues, hooker using coke head being one developed after I met him, but so do I, as Nop is pointing out and I need to go address. (friend choosing was one of them. No longer.) my beliefs and actions are not affected by those around me very much. We still had a lot of commonality, and ties from business, career things. Peer pressure has meant nothing to me since early teens. My life experiences will do that to you. Graduated at 14, teachers fawning, special classes, awards blah blah blah, constant testing not just on paper, adults and stepdad too, kids competing, everytime I turn around another competition. If I was succesful, hohum, if I wasnt the world was in turmoil. head taller then everyone close to my age around me untill going to college at 16. at 21 said forget this went to AK. Its peaceful and quiet 20-60 feet down.
I'm not trying to be harsh, hope it doesn't come off that way It doesnt, I got a good feel for you HP. Harsh away, like I said noone can harsh me harder then I have myself. Maybe one of the harshes will help me figure out why I did this, and if I can stop it.
Hope yours is getting better each day. Today was a bad day. associative triggers... thanks though.
Two people who are an electric match for each other IMO I did all the R work, untill I didnt. I kept things going, she has even bitched during our Reconcil you always do 'the right thing, your so fcuking psych. healthy'. Whatever, not true, but whatever, thats a bad thing? When I vented and berated which wasnt, she left. Go figure. Fell down in mud reached up for a hand found self on own again. poor me. blech. getting off the pity pot now, grabbing boot straps, counting on noone but me again.
Well except for people here. Not really counting but glad for the helping hand, it was either this or self destructive dating with messed up females. I stay away from the healthy ones, the 'nice girls'. Tend to fall in love with them.
So, anyways, I really trully appreciate it. Hope I have been of some help, despite Naricissm and playerness.
