The standard advice here is to let it go. Insisting that he end the affair will only push him away from you, not her. Read "The Divorce Remedy" and the posts here, you'll find the best way to react.
You cannot make him stop his relationship with her. Your best hope is to make yourself the more attractive option. This involves change, 180s as they say here....New clothes, new hair, work out, new hobbies, new friends, new interests, etc. Coupled with you not nagging about the OW, begging for his attention, crying, and otherwise seeming needy and demanding.
With regards to the OW calling your home, that is where I personally would draw the line (I don't know if this would be the general concensus here). It is one thing to do the divorce busting exercises, it's another to be a doormat...
I told my W that I would not tolerate her chatting on the phone with her lover in my home. She is gone all day and has ample opportunity to speak to him then, I don't need my nose rubbed in her affair....
