This is my first visit to this forum. My husband and I are in our mid-50s and have been together 30 years, including time we lived together first. For many years we were very happy, but the last couple of years we have had infrequent sex due to overwhelming family and job responsibilities that had been placed on me. Unfortunately I did not take this seriously enough until a few weeks ago, when he told me that he had "fallen in love" with someone else. We have started working on our relationship, I have made some major changes, and communication and sex have dramatically improved lately. But the pull of the other woman is powerful, like an addictive drug, and he cannot give up his relationship with her. Apparently he wants to maintain a relationship with both of us, at least temporarily. He wants to be open and honest about it, but what he wants right now seems to be a sort of ménage a trois in two different households. I appreciate the honesty, which is preferable to the lies, but it’s been very difficult for me emotionally. A few days ago, the “other woman” moved out of her husband’s house. Since then she has been calling him at my house, or using instant messaging or emails, multiple times a day, even if she has spent time with him that day. I sense that if I tell him to stop the relationship with her, it will backfire and he will leave me. If anyone has any experience with this or advice, I would appreciate it.
