Well initially when he said he wanted me to move out I told him to go to hell. If he wanted to end our M (6 years in Oct, 8 yrs together) I said he could leave. But, I've realized that if I leave I am in control. It also means I know where he is and have access. It means that he is farther away from his office and from bars which he must leave at a certain time to catch the last train.
So even though I am against us living separately and am terrified, I'm going to be brave and hope he will realize what he's losing.
Yesterday I again didn't call him at work and he finally called at around 10 p.m. to say he was coming home. I guess this is progress. When he came home I made sure I was busy reading and didn't ignore him, but wasn't attentive. He asked me how my day was and if I was sad and tired. I said no, and asked if he was sad and tired. He said no too, but I could tell from his eyes that he was lying.
We briefly discussed Christmas and he asked if we could talk about it the next day, today, I said no I had plans. He said Thursday then and I said I had plans then too. So I guess my GAL is throwing him.
This morning I got up and made myself tea. My H is a Brit and I think he's physically unable to not make me tea in the morning. Even when we've not been speaking otherwise he still makes me tea. Usually I get up and start working at our computer at 6 a.m. and he gets up an hour later. He was surprised to see I already had tea in hand.
Before he left for work, he actually said. "You seem to have done a complete reversal."
All good progress but I need to keep reminding myself that these things take time. And, just because he is paying more attention to me doesn't mean anything long term. Last year our M came back from the brink and here we are again.
It's just so hard to keep DBing when all I want to do is grab him and give him a big hug. Watched him scoop the kitty litter this am and though man is he cute. Oh well.
And yes regarding the books. I bought DB last summer when we initially started having problems and it worked but then I guess I stopped and we fell back into our rut.
