I think I have most of the non-DB things out of my system. I wrote him a letter and we had a really productive talk about where things were but I didn't deal well with the fact that he didn't budge in his decision that we are not right for each other (cried a lot which didn't help and he said that's one reason he goes out drinking to stay away from home.) I erased the Og's (real women don't steal husbands, only girls) number from his cell phone. I told him I was going to do whatever it took to fix our marriage. I begged him to stay.
Now I am working on setting my DB goals:
1) I will not call him during the day to ask when he will be coming home (he usually leaves for work around 8 a.m. and then he goes for drinks with coworkers and I don't see him until midnight.)
2) I will not bother him about his drinking/smoking too much.
3) I will try to play nice with his mother.
4) I will not try to snuggle with him in bed unless he initiates.
5) I will agree that we should begin planning to live apart.
6) I will not cry in front of him.
7) I will not tell him I love him unless he tells me first.
I suppose I've known for a long time that I need to get him back to pursuing me (you want what you can't have.) Our marriage was in a serious rut and I guess I had a bit of a MLC and stopped taking care of him.
