Earlier this week I discovered my H had an affair a year ago. It was a particularly bad time in our marriage and I think I can forgive him--the affair burned out after a few months despite her ultimatum pushing him to divorce me. I don't consider myself innocent as I didn't physically cheat but that is only due to lack of opportunity. I thought we had been moving forward this past year but now he wants to move out and eventually get a divorce because we are not "soul mates." He says he still loves me and we are still having sex. I have decided not to let him know I know about the affair as I'm afraid this will only make matters worse. So here is my problem: how do I simultaneously hold in this knowledge and at the same time persuade him our marriage is worth saving. I should mention I have the added problem of his family hating me and actively sabotaging our marriage. I think the most hurtful thing about his affair was the discovery of how excited his mother was about her (they actually called and e-mailed on a regular basis.) I am trying to apply for grad school over the next month but I am not able to do this as I am too stressed. Despite his affair I am largely to blame and would appreciate any advice.
