Gabriel, I am doing what you said and just putting one foot in front of the other right now. I did listen to your advice and apply it. I needed the reminder.
JDD-Thanks, I do have a greater sense of peace. I hope you do too.
Right now, I still haven't spoken to ex. I have pulled out a lot of John Gray books and am trying to apply them to my sitch. Ex had to take care of paperwork for me. I saw that he did it, but he never called me once it was finished. I just knew he did when everything was finalized. I emailed ex and thanked him (showing appreciation). I then tried to let him know that I trusted him with handling his addiction on his own. (showing trust). I then tried to express that I accepted him just the way he is and will always care about him no matter what. (showing acceptance)
I reading more of the Men and Mars book and boy does that stuff hit home. The part about the man going to his cave is so weird. I save all the emails ex sends me. A few days might have gone by before he would email, and they always started off with, "sorry I took so long to email. I just have a lot to deal with right now." It is textbook scenarios.
Presently, I keep trying to imagine him in his cave working through his problems and trying to fix them on his own. This helps a lot. We will see, and I will keep you all posted.
Reminder for the guys: Women want to feel cared for (do little romantic type things to show this) Women want understanding (validate when they speak) Women want respect (Gabriel, this includes not digging through their computer and invading their privacy)
Their are other things that Gray lists in his first book, but in a second book I got he lists these as the top three. I think it is easier to focus in on these in the beginning so you don't get confused.
