It must be really hard to see your loved one suffer like this. I think you can just send him a card - that's different from having a regular communication through phone and emails.
This sort of reminds me of my STBX - till he dropped the bomb, he was always begging me not to leave him (because every time I found out that he was using drugs I got mad and threatened that we would get D..., I know, it was not the best approach to handle his addictions, especially if I did not follow through, it was only empty threats and I was enabling him to continue with his addictions). Your xH is not directly asking you to stay with him, but I can feel that he is indirectly asking you not to leave him. My STBXH thinks he has been codependent (he got a book "Codependent No More" and I got one as well), but I thought maybe I became codependent. After all, I was not the one who had addictions.
You keep mentioning that you have been codependent, but does your therapist think the same way about you?
