Looks I didn't post on this thread which is my lastest thread so I'll say the same thing again right here.
Hi all,
I know I haven't posted in ages. Just felt there wasn't too much to post. The new year has made me do a lot of thinking and put things at a breaking point for me. Yes, I know ex regrets the divorce, yes, I know ex wishes we were still married, yes, I know ex loves me alot, but even with all this, it isn't enough. His addiction is the only thing that fuels him these days--I have to put down boundaries or I will piss my life away praying things will change. I haven't given up hope--I don't know if I will ever be able to do that. However, I am at a point where doing things like I used to do them feels very wrong. Today, acting aloof towards ex and starting to look at other options feels very right. It is so easy to go dark these days and it actually feels good to do so. I don't worry if going dark is the wrong thing to do anymore because ex's life has really very little to do with my actions. That is something new, and I am actually grateful that I can look back on the time that I did have with ex and smile. I am grateful that I had him in my life the amount of time that I did, yet I also realize that my life with him in it may have to come to an end. He still calls and tells me that we will be together soon--as soon as he has the free time to detox and enter treatment. I don't say much back to him, and he seems more depressed than in a panic that he might lose me. It is like he has given up hope on his own life. It is time for me to back far, far away and let him figure out things on his own. I should have probably done it a long time ago but I just wasn't ready to take that leap.
I see that many have moved on to Surviving such as Greekgodess and Gabriel and JDD too. I also see that things with Just-me changed practically overnight. Hope everyone is doing well. Take care, Sam
