Sorry, I did not mean to imply that I thought SD should or should not divorce. I was speaking in general terms.
You are probably right that the FOO-FOO bird gets in the way of the process of R healing in many cases. No matter what the S that is trying to repair the R does to themselves, the person with serious FOO issues may never be able to change without some sort big event or long-term work. I'd say if my case had been reversed, if my W was trying to repair our R and I was the one not seeing the problem, then my long-term battle with low self-esteem would have probably made it very difficult for her to do that. And maybe, my W has low self-esteem that will make it difficult for us to repair our marriage without she gets help. I don't know.
But one thing is for sure, fixing yourself is a good thing, whether or not in the end the R is fixed. Although the process is slow, I can feel a big difference already in how I view myself. I am fighting a constant battle against self-deprication, but it is getting easier. And no, I don't see any major changes yet in my M. But the self-improvement is beneficial irregardless. KWIM?
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
