Corri: I agree with everything you said, with the exception of any malicious on the part of either the mother or the son. I'm sure there are M's where it is controlling but for the majority, I don't think there's any malice involved.
I see just as many women voluntarily put themselves in the Mother role--as a way of controlling their surroundings--as men who do the same. In fact, look around at the stuff on television: most of the sitcoms that revolve around a family have a bumbling childish dad and a mock-stern SuperMom of a wife.
I guess what I'm saying is that it goes both ways. Both parties have to be willing in order for the dynamic to take off. The wife has to be acting like a mother in order for her H to submit to that. And the H has to be acting like a child in order for it to be necessary for the W to act like his mom.
When I was a young bride, I worked in an enclosed office with 5 other (older) women. Every single one of them talked about their H's with disdain and as if he was a child. Every one! And they all used to tell me that it was only a matter of time before I did the same..."oh you just think that way because you are a newlywed--just wait!" they'd say.
It's tragic, really. People get into these lazy habits and next thing you know the entire thing is dissolving.
My H and I both had a tendency to act like the Parent/Child, only in different circumstances. Just acting like equal partners, all the time, is a big challenge. It's taken many years now just to get to that point. Amazing how something we slipped into so easily and quickly has taken years to quit doing!
